Our Ethiopian Adoption

thatgirlkate — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:59:56 +0000

A Promise From God- 1/21/12

thatgirlkate — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:58:12 +0000

8 For I will bring them from the north
and from the distant corners of the earth.
I will not forget the blind and lame,
the expectant mothers and women in labor.
A great company will return!9 Tears of joy will stream down their faces,
and I will lead them home with great care.
They will walk beside quiet streams
and on smooth paths where they will not stumble.
For I am Israel’s father.

Jeremiah 31:6-8

As of Jan 18th: Officially on the Waitlist!!!

thatgirlkate — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:53:51 +0000

A New Year Every Day

thatgirlkate — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 23:25:16 +0000

So here it comes, 2012. A new year, a fresh start. In reality the only real change is the date I’ll write on checks, and inevitably I’ll mess it up and have to scratch out the 11 and put 12. But somehow it feels so significant when a new year begins, and it has since the beginning of time, or since the beginning of calendars. We all feel this sense of hope-a do-over. I get to try again. I get to hope for more in my life, I get to pursue change and the betterment of myself. I do feel all those things. But this year is different.

Never in my life have I understood how completely lacking and unable I am to change absolutely anything about myself on my own. I am pathetic. I am slave to my will and emotions, to food and money, to my desires both good and bad…or let’s just say it- evil. The moment I say “I’ll never…” is the moment I am all ready defeated. Without fail, when I decide to make a change for myself whether it’s the usual eat less, exercise more, or be more loving, more kind; I find myself doing the opposite. I am usually fully aware of my weakness and spiral into shame and anger. It’s so very sad. And so very repetitive.

It wasn’t until I went through a program called Celebrate Recovery that I learned to surrender this lie called “willpower” and just admit that left to my own devices I will fail. Every time. I will fail. I will pursue the things I shouldn’t, telling myself I deserve it, that it won’t hurt anyone. I hunger for the wrong things on a daily basis. I am unable to change that in myself. It’s depressing and honestly when you think of it, it makes you despair that you will never see real change.

But I do not live in dispair. I use to, that’s for sure. I now live in the reality that my Savior took responsibility for every selfish, humiliating thing I have ever consciously or unconsciously done. (And believe me, there have been some shameful things.) It’s like I have a New Year’s Day do-over every single day. I don’t look forward to tomorrow as a new start. My new start begins every time I say, “Help me, Jesus! I can’t do this without You!”

I pray that in 2012 my love will increase first for Jesus, then for others. I pray that I will grow in kindness and generosity. That I will not be blind, but recognize needs that others may have and offer hope. I pray that I will be a more patient mother, a more faithful friend and a really, really hot wife. Jusss kidding. {Not really.}

I don’t say these things to pressure myself into finding the right formula for motivation. Jesus is enough. He is the one who denomastrates true love then lives it through me. He is the one who opens my eyes to see other’s needs then gives me the tools to help. He is the one who I bow down to and serve, not food and certainly not my bathroom scale. He is the one who I will pursue each day, and at the end of 2012 I will be a better, different person (maybe even a hotter wife), not because I am that strong, but because He is that good.

Happy New Year, friends. Let’s make our only goal to find our full satisfaction in Jesus alone.

love. xx

Hurry Up and Wait

thatgirlkate — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 03:09:24 +0000

It has been 77 days since we {officially} began our adoption process and, man, am I tired. I think I’ve actually been tired for a while and just realized it today, as the dust is settling.

I have been functioning purely on adrenaline for weeks now. The mix of sickening fear and unbridled excitement has been the gas in my tank helping me tick off the boxes on my to do list with fury. So.so.many.boxes.

Today I printed our completed dossier, carefully checking that every name included our middle names, removing any inaccurate dates and organizing every page into correct order. Everything is finished, save one employment verification that I may literally go insane if I don’t hear back about soon…you know who you are….

Our home study is COMPLETE (wahOO!), and being sent in to the state tomorrow. In the meantime we submit our dossier to our adoption agency where the in-house “Dossier Expert” reviews it and let’s us know if there needs to be any changes. I feel like I am back in school praying for an A+, when in reality I am a B- kinda student. Hopefully in this case it’ll be different. I have worked so hard on this dossier and all I want to hear is “This is the best dossier that we have ever seen in the history of this adoption agency, actually in the history of adoption! You must be the most wonderful and responsible wife and mother ever. Ethiopia would be crazy not to give you a baby!” That’s all.

Hope my expectations aren’t too high.

The dossier is honestly the only thing that’s in any way in our (my) control in this process. If I can complete something within hours of it being in my hands, than I’ll do it, and I know that will not be the case for the rest of the people who will handle our adoption. To them it’s one of thousands-to me it is the only one on the whole earth that matters. Our adoption could take up to 2 years, so if I can possibly shave off one day, or even one hour, of that wait, then I will. I will rush around to the post office, to the bank, to the church, to the adoption agency. I will furiously check my emails and reply with lightening speed. I will stay up late into the night printing documents that will not be seen for weeks. All so I can be done with what I can do as fast as humanly possible knowing that I will hand these same documents into government systems that seem to pride themselves on being as slow as humanly possible. It’s all a big game of Hurry Up and Wait. And I hate that game.

Here it is, my pride and joy.

So, what kind of money are we talkin’ about?

thatgirlkate — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 20:45:52 +0000

I thought it may be helpful to post a breakdown of our adoption costs. If you are thinking about adoption and what the actual cost is, keep in mind these numbers are different depending on which adoption agency you use. We aren’t posting our adoption agency by name on our blog so we remain more anonymous, but if you would like to know leave a comment with your email and I’ll send it to you.

Application Fee $175

Home Study Fee $1350

State Approval Fee $175

Post Adoption Fee $900

1st Agency Fee $2150

2nd Agency Fee $2150

Dossier Authentication Fee $525

Ethiopian Country Fee $7500

In Country Fee $700

TOTAL $15,700

We have also paid $66 for CO state approvals, $50 for fingerprinting, $270 for passport renewals, $400 for blood work, $18 for police clearance records. $804 total.

We will pay for 2 flights to Ethiopia which will be around $1500/person per trip- $6000 total. We’re hoping for help with our flights- buddy passes or donated mileage.

Some other costs we need to consider are travel costs, multiple Dr appointments when our baby is home, and just normal baby stuff (crib, clothes, diapers, formula, ect.) I’d say this will be around $1000.

TOTAL: $23,504

So far we have paid $3275 and have had over $4000 in donations. Can you believe that?!?!? AMAZING!

We have also raised $250 through our Etsy page So that is exciting too!

We need to pay a remaining $3225 in the next 2 weeks in order to be placed on the waiting list. Good thing we have our fundraiser Christmas party this Sunday. Just in time!

All the glory goes to God, who pours out grace and provision every step of the way.

He is faithful.

Advice to New (Int’l) Adoptive Parents

thatgirlkate — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 18:03:54 +0000

As we continue our adoption journey I’ve picked up some things along the way that I think may be helpful for people just starting out. Things that I’m lucky to have been told or just learned, not because I’m that smart, but because God is just that great.

1. Before you start any part of adoption- PRAY and HEAR from God that He is calling you to be adoptive parents. The road of adopting is much too long to not know for sure. When things seem impossible you need to have the assurance and peace that God has brought you to this place and He will see it through. If He is calling you to adopt He will make it clear so be patient until He does.

2. Research adoption agencies before choosing one. It’s a really exciting moment when you make that final decision to adopt and it’s easy to commit to the first agency you find, but it is important to read reviews and ask lots of questions beforehand. If you are adopting from Ethiopia then make sure to talk with your agency about which orphanages they bring children from and how they are run- who staffs them, will your money go to them, have they been examined by MOWA…? Ask for a breakdown of costs or a payment schedule to see how much is expected in total, when it’s due and what it’s for. Some agencies ask for $10,000 within 90 days of agreeing to adopt through them. I don’t know about you, but we found this next to impossible. Our agency we use we found to be much more reasonable in their costs.

3. Once you start your adoption process you are flooded by task lists to do. Before you do anything get your fingerprints done and send away for passports (if you need one or yours needs to be renewed. Keep in mind it needs to have your married name on it if it is old). Fingerprints can take 6 weeks and you can’t even submit your home study until they have been approved so this is the FIRST thing you should do.

4. Read tons of blogs about adoption. They are informative and encouraging. Seeing pictures of forever families hugging and smiling with their precious, new kiddos is the greatest motivator when it seems like your baby will never be home.

3. Be excited. Share the news. It’s tempting with how long the process is to not want to tell anyone you are adopting. When else do you announce news that could take up to 2 years to be seen? But to you it feels like your pregnant, you are an expecting mama. Your heart is filled with love and joy for this future child and it’s OK to shout it from the rooftops! Adoption is NOT second best. It is not the sad alternative to a biological child. In your heart you feel just as in love with this child you don’t know yet as if you were pregnant. There is no shame, only hope and love. Be just as proud as if you had a big ol’ belly to show off.

4. Find community. Gather people around you who are going to support you and pray for you all the way through to the bitter end. Update them on how things are going and what your needs are. Adoption should not be something that is done in secret. You need supportive community in the process and when the child comes home. Don’t isolate yourself or allow bitterness to settle in your heart towards those who don’t understand or who are not supportive. This will be the same community you raise this baby in, so start building it now.

5. Keep a record of your process. Whether it is a journal or a blog. Make sure you document all the growth you experience as you adopt. Keep a timeline of the steps you have completed and the money that has come in. After everything is said and done and your baby is sleeping in her warm bed, safe and peaceful, this record will be your testimony of God’s unfailing love and provision, this will be your testimony.

I only have 5 points for now. I’m sure that in about 18 months this list will be much longer. Stick with me and watch us get there!!

thatgirlkate — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 17:00:07 +0000

I am really trying to get motivated this morning to finish up our dossier. My To Do list has never been shorter and my procrastination has never been longer.

We are so close to having it completed, only a couple minor things to finish. I need to set a goal to have it printed and ready to be notarized by Friday.

To Do:

-Print our updated Insurance information with our full names.

-Go back to the Police Station (for a 3rd time) to have our criminal clearance report re-notarized with a notary that will not expire until 2014.

-Add page numbers to final dossier

-Need revised employment letter for Dustin with full name.

-Get 8 passport size photos for each of us- 16 total.

-Send next payment to agency- $3575 (our fundraiser is coming at just the right time)

Longest Gestation Periods

thatgirlkate — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 05:38:33 +0000

In honor of my very long “pregnancy”, I thought I would post mammals with the longest gestation periods. Pretty fascinating stuff here, folks.

Camels are known for their stubborn and crabbish personalities, but consider this: Camels have a gestation period of 13-14 months or around 410 days. Other camelids, such as llamas, also have a long gestation period — about 330 days.

Giraffes have gestation periods anywhere from 400 to 460 days. Despite being the tallest land animal in the world, the mother gives birth standing up — so the baby needs to be big enough to brace for a long fall. (Interestingly, the fall is typically what bursts the embryonic sack.) With lions and other predators abound, the world is a dangerous place for baby giraffes when they first come into the world — part of the reason for the long delay.

You might not know if a portly manatee is pregnant simply by looking at the animal, but this gentle giant carries its young for nearly 13 months. Lounging around in the water all day helps to relieve some of the extra weight, but a manatee mother is still owed plenty of respect for her patience.

Whales and dolphins, also known as cetaceans, are known for their high intelligence, complex societies and peaceful personalities — it’s no surprise that they also take a lot of care in developing their young. Although all species have different gestation periods, orcas have the longest period among dolphins (at about 17 months). Some sperm whales — the largest living predators — have been known to carry their young for up to 19 months.

And my personal favorite….

Elephants have the longest gestation period of all mammals, carrying their young for nearly two years before giving birth. Long developmental periods are common among highly intelligent animals. Since elephants are the largest living and biggest-brained land animal in the world, there’s a lot of developing for elephants to do in the womb.

Quick Update

thatgirlkate — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 05:23:09 +0000

Things have been pretty busy the past couple weeks and I haven’t had a chance to post much. Here is a quick update on where we are at in the process:

We had our last meeting with our lovely social worker Sheri. We read through our final home study together, which means her summary of all the information she gathered on us. It’s pretty fascinating to read what an outsider looking in describes you, your marriage, and your home. I felt it was very accurate of who we are and what we value. It made me proud of who Dustin and I have become…our little family.

Although our home study has been completed by Sheri, we still need our fingerprints and background checks to come back. They say it takes 4-6 weeks and I’m pretty sure we are around the 6 week mark.

I could try to write out an explanation of the next steps, but that would imply that I somehow know and comprehend them, and the truth is it is super confusing. So instead I will copy and paste what I received from Sheri:

1) I will let you know when we get all of your clearances, references, and when my supervisor and I sign your home study.

2) Once I tell you we signed it, you should expect your home study in a sealed envelope in the mail about 2 weeks later (about how long it takes the state to approve)

3) You will open the outside envelope and follow instructions to send the sealed envelope to USCIS with your I-600A. Here is the link to where you can download the form and instructions: http://www.uscis.gov/i-600a

4) USCIS will send you a letter explaining when to go do your fingerprints for them, and they will send you your I171H (approval notice) after about 45 days from when they receive your I-600A. If they need more information, they will send you a Request for Evidence and you should contact me in order for me to write an addendum.

Luckily, I don’t have to necessarily understand it all in order for it to be done. I just do what they tell me and hope that it all works out. It’s a lot how I think about taxes or algebra.

So after all these things are done (about 6 weeks) we will then go on the waiting list where we patiently wait for our referral (name and picture of our baby). The average wait time for an infant girl is 16 months. Six. Teen. MONTHS. just until we know who our baby is. This doesn’t include the 2 trips we will take to Ethiopia.

I all ready feel pregnant with the idea of our baby girl coming. I am an expectant mother. It’s like I have to prepare myself for a gestation period of at least 18 months.

God, help me.